To adopt, or not to adopt

So, my mom's best friend Cindy is really in the network as far as adoption is concerned. She has a non-profit organization called Chosen and she organizes adoption camps. This last year she helped a couple adopt a child from a woman who was pregnant.

So anyway, she knows about this other woman who is pregnant and asked Jeff and I if we were interested. The woman is 29, single and has 4 children already. She doesn't want to have an abortion, but feels like she can't afford or manage to have another child on her own.

I gave Cindy the adoption book that Jeff and I made on Shutterfly this summer. It shows Jeff and I, our interests, our house, our family and our friends. Cindy will bring the book down to Grants Pass to show it to the mother. Jeff is really excited about the opportunity and I am too, as far as adoption opportunities go.

Also, we heard back from DHS, from the woman who is writing our home study. She is now finishing it up and told us she would be back to us soon to ask us some more questions.

But, I am also having reservations. I stay at school so late. I don't think it would be very manageable to have small infant children, or toddler children and a full time job as well. I don't know how moms do it. I think I would go crazy. Maybe I am more of a type A personality then I ever knew. Would I ever be able to clean my house? Would I get to sleep? When would I cook? When would I shop? I foresee getting really frustrated with Jeff because of his clutter ... etc. Would I ever get to exercise? Jeff and I have talked about how I could work part-time, but I'm not sure that it is very realistic, just because my school district seems to frown on hiring part-time teachers and we have quite a few at my school already. Also I feel pretty attached to my money, especially now that the economy is not doing so well. I feel like my job is fairly secure. So I feel like I should do what I can to keep it, after all there may come a time when people will need some help, like my mother or my sister or my friends. Wouldn't it be nice if somebody had some extra time and money to help people out when they are in need?

Then also I have been feeling overwhelmed lately with what I am expecting myself to do in my classroom. It is already near the end of the first trimester. I am spending a lot of my instructional time giving my students this universal screening test. I feel frustrated, because I feel like there is no end in sight. Before I started giving them these tests I had already met with my students in informal reading conferences and I had talked about goals that I had for them. Now I feel like I don't have the chance to teach them because I am so busy assessing them. My prime time to teach and give individualized support to students has been eaten up by assessing. I am frustrated. And I feel like my kids are not where last year's teachers said they were, so now I need to break this unhappy news to parents at conferences. Not so exciting. And I haven't had much time to teach students on my own.

Fall Memories

This weekend I headed down to Wilbur, Ore. where my grandparents live for the Old Methodist Church's Christmas bazaar. This is the third year where I have helped at their holiday bazaar. I go for selfish reasons. It is a great time to have my grandparent's attention all to myself. I get to have one on one time with them and it is so special.

I drove down Friday night after school and really enjoyed the crystal clear blue sky and shockingly bright fall trees. Nanny had dinner ready for me when I got there and she made a cake just for me. I had to have a piece!

Then on Saturday morning they took me out to breakfast at the Del Rey Cafe -- their favorite breakfast spot. Next we headed to the church for the bazaar that started at 9 a.m. When we got there at 8:30 a.m. there were already local ladies starting to line up.

I have to tell you a little about the church. I started going there when I lived in Wilbur when I was 3 years old. I attended from the age of 3 to 3rd grade. My kindergarten teachers Helen Woods and Mary Wise attended there. I have them to thank for getting me off to a great start educationally. They ran a private kindergarten. There were 9 children in my afternoon kindergarten class and two teachers. What a great ratio! They reminded me of the fairy godmothers on Sleeping Beauty. Mary always wore a blue polyester dress with white functional nurse-like shoes. Anyway ...

The church is on Oregon's historical register, because it used to be a one-room church. It has stained glass windows and a bell tower. My grandpa rings the bell and serves as an usher there on Sundays. My grandma plays the organ every Sunday. They also make sure the grass is mowed every week. I recognize a lot of the people there. I didn't used to know all their names, because a lot of the people who went there when I was a little girl have passed away. There are just a couple that are still there that I remember from the old days. But since I have helped out at the bazaar for the past couple of years, I know a lot of names. There are about 48 older folks that attend church there every Sunday.

Anyway, I was given just about every job in the place. They wanted me to clear tables, be a greeter, be a cashier, be a bagger, help carry out heavy loads for shoppers and put boxes of goods in the sanctuary for people who were still shopping but couldn't carry their loads. I kept pretty busy for most of the day.

When we opened the doors at 9 a.m. there were probably about 30 women lined up ready to buy. All the items there were handmade. Here are some of the things that were there: quilts, dishtowels, embroidered pillowcases, dolls, booties, scarves, bread, cookies, cakes, and so much more. The women work all year long making things for this bazaar. It's incredible.

They made over $5,000 this year. Everything they make goes to charities like Habitat for Humanity, Holt, and a cancer camp for children. I budgeted money and spent a wad, too. I got embroidered dishtowels, jellies and jams, potholders and loaves of pumpkin bread. Yum! I also ate a piece of homemade apple pie and a cup of coffee.

I had a great weekend. It was like stepping back in time and into my memories of being a child. It reminds me how much I love my grandparents and just how special they are to me.